BORING!!

That's what I feel my life is like for some reason...BORING!! I feel like I am just waiting for something to happen (in more ways than one). To top that off, I am sitting at work right now (its 6 AM) and I am bored. So now I will write my post about my boring life...

I guess what I am getting at is that while I was pregnant, I had something I was looking forward to. There would be things to research and decide on, and eventually register for. I would have a room to get ready, things to prepare, doctors appointments, ultrasounds...and the list goes on. Anyway, now I won't have any of that because I'm not pregnant anymore. The only upside is that my choices of fun things to do include a few things that I couldn't do before (such as drinking and getting delightful coffee drinks from Starbucks). Yes, these things are fun, but I have to stop soon anyway because I want to get pregnant again so that fun is short lived. Besides, I don't really mind giving all that stuff up anyway. I guess some parents would probably say my life is interesting and theirs is boring...its all perspective.

The other reason I feel bored is because there is nothing for me to do right now. I just have to wait. I can't figure out what my cycle is doing. No meds to take or blood to be drawn for now. Just waiting for my cycles to start back up and who knows how long that will take. I will admit patience is not one of my strong areas...this is really pushing me LoL.

Ok...so on to a new topic/struggle. I hate to admit this but I have to talk about it. I feel really guilty about it but I get jealous each time I hear that someone else is pregnant. Now I am sure other people struggling to get pregnant have this same issue but I really want to be happy for these people. Even for non-pregnant people, I keep thinking to myself..."if she gets pregnant before me...ugh!" And I don't want to feel that way. I will keep praying for God to change my attitude towards that and maybe in the meantime he will bless me with another pregnancy and I will have no reason to be jealous. There is no shortage of things to pray for if you want to pray for me...I can email you a list if you like LoL (I'm totally kidding...no lists!). But seriously, if you want to pray for me...all I truly need prayer for is that God would bless Scott and I with a baby.

This journey to fill our empty arms is usually not boring...we have just entered a lull that will hopefully be shortlived. In the meantime I will continue to pray for God's help with the struggles I endure through this and most importantly that God would fill our empty arms.